The Positive/ Telling Joe

I still cannot believe I am pregnant! I get chills writing, thinking, and remembering the mixture of feelings during this time. Last post we talked about the decision to try, and what I needed to do personally to feel confident and ready. This is where weeks 0-4 of my pregnancy take’s place. We will talk about our expectations, officially doing it , waiting to test, testing, and telling Joe. This is your fair warning. If you do not want to know about Joe and I’s sex life, just skip the “Lets do It” part this post.

Our Expectations

It is important to recognize that most people do not get pregnant on the first try. In fact it is absolutely normal for healthy young couples to take six months up to a year to get pregnant. For those of you future momma’s who are trying, your time will come and it will be worth the wait. I cannot imagine how hard it is to hear that from me, someone who did not have to wait. I truly cannot imagine how hard it must be. I think about you often and pray for you regularly. I know I am blessed. We were not unaware of the struggles we could face and figured that if we started trying in July, if we were lucky, we would be pregnant by Christmas. Whenever I started talking about things too far in the future, Joe would gently remind me to be patient and take it one step at a time, as it might take a while.

Lets do IT.

I ran a 10k, was eating healthy and in a routine, we paid off my student loans, and we were in the middle of the COVID pandemic. Being quarantined had Joe and I hungry and focused on all the things we wanted to prioritize. This time was such a blessing for us. We absolutely crushed our goals from March-June. We still needed to pay off my car loan but figured that it would take us a couple months to get pregnant so by then we would be debt free. We decided to pull the goalie, stop using protection and just see what happens. Up until now, I really have never had sex without a condom. Since I never had sex before Joe, I had never been on birth control. Yes, condoms was our birth control method for the first 4 years of our marriage. ‘Safe sex’ has been so engrained in my head, even though we were married. I was a little bit nervous. My thoughts swirled: Is this ‘unsafe sex’? Safe from what? Should we really be doing this? Are we really ready? It felt like I was breaking all the rules, being irresponsible and spontaneous, although it was really really not. At this point we did not track anything on a calendar or look into timing anything for when I was most “fertile”. We were not in a rush, we knew its super rare to get pregnant right away.

Waiting to take a pregnancy test

After the deed was done, I tried so hard to be cool and laid back about the possibility of being pregnant. I lasted all of two minutes before I googled how early I can take a pregnancy test (5 days before expected period), and early signs of implantation/ pregnancy. I also did every calculator I could find online to see if I was ovulating when we had sex to know how likely it would be. I did about five calculators to see when our due date would be, on the off chance we actually conceived. For the next two weeks, I was constantly re-doing the calculators. Joe kept asking “what are you doing on your phone” and I would sheepishly reply “nothing” as I didn’t want him to know I was getting my hopes up. Joe typically helps me temper my expectations as I get overly excited about most things prematurely. As far as I knew he had no clue or care for when I was ovulating and when we could officially find out. He is the MOST laid back, calm, understanding, and purposeful guy I know. Joe is of the “what is meant to happen will happen” mindset and I am “If we make a plan we could do this and that and find out by then ….. x20years”. If I asked he probably would have wanted to wait for my missed period and then go to buy a test and take it together. I am not that patient. Why not know, if I can be informed I want to know!

Taking the Pregnancy test.

It was the day before I could take the early response pregnancy test. Yes I know, for someone who was not “trying” I sure was anxious to find out. I had woken up early in the morning before, took the doggie for a walk and snuck over to the store to pick up four pregnancy tests. Tomorrow was the day! Four tests, because I knew Joe would want me to double check, and I was taking it as early as possible. I had Pinterest cute ways to tell Joe but knew I would not be able to look at him and keep this secret. I also knew that if it was negative my hopes were way too high at this point and I would need his compassion. I did not tell him I picked up the tests. I ended up pushing the limits and testing one day before the early response pregnancy test said I could. I couldn’t help it. I tested at noon the day before I was supposed to and well… it was negative. I went on a long run that day to shake it off and remind myself that I might not have enough hormones yet to get that second line to turn pink. That night I could not sleep. The thoughts “I should have listened to Joe and not have gotten my hopes up”, “Its ok Abby, most people do not get pregnant on the first try” “Would one day really change my hormone level’s that much?”. I waited until 5:00 am before I called it quits and got up for the day. I waited another half hour to actually take the test because I felt bad waking Joe up at 5:30am on a Saturday. I pee’ d on the stick, and watched anxiously for a second line. There was a faint what looked like an indent where the second line would be. I wouldn’t call it a second line. Was I seeing things? I do have a wishful mind that can play tricks on me. I googled it and the internet said that it was a positive result. I didn’t trust it. I took a second test, the one I was going to wait to take with Joe that said Pregnant vs Not Pregnant. I was pregnant!

Telling Joe

It was 6:00am on Saturday and I went into the bedroom to tell Joe as he was sleeping. I didn’t want to wake him. I decided to get doughnuts as a surprise, he LOVES doughnuts. I brought the dog so that if he woke up, he would assume I was running with Zoey. On my way to the shop I was imagining what I would say when he wakes up. When I got to the shop and called in my order (COVID) I blurted out “I’m pregnant” right away on the phone. The words just came out. I told them I was going to tell my husband and bring him doughnuts. I asked if they could write a message in the box to help tell Joe.

When I came home, Joe was finishing up in the shower. I put the box on the counter and set up the pregnancy test nearby. I heard him call my name, “Abby is that you” but didn’t go to him because this news was a loose cannon on my lips. When he came out he asked “Did you and Zoey go for a run?” I nodded my head hoping he would see the doughnuts on the counter. Then he asked, “Did you run in sandals?” Dang it his attentiveness is going to ruin this. How did I think to bring Zoey to get doughnuts but not think to wear running shoes. Thankfully he had noticed the display before I needed to respond. He looked and me and repeated in a daze. “A Daddy? How do you know? When did you take these? Come Here.” He pulled me in and gave me a hug, I felt him shaking a little and I started to cry. I asked if it was ok and if he was excited. He kissed me, grabbed my shoulders and exclaimed “Of Course, we are going to have a baby!” He grabbed a doughnut and asked me to take one more test the last of four as he didn’t think the indent in the one was actually indicating positive. Sure enough, another positive. We were pregnant.

This is a special mind shifting moment in the Journey. How did you/ do you want to tell your significant other? I want to hear about your pregnancy test, if you got in your head while waiting or anything.