The Decision
Lets start before the beginning, The Decision, lets call it. Joe and I have been considering having a child for a while. It never seemed like the right time as I am very career driven and I kept setting goals in that area of my life. Joe on the other hand was ready. One day Joe asked me “what would make you feel ready?” That was just it, I didn’t know. I didn’t know what it took to have a healthy pregnancy, all the rules, how I would feel, and in general what to expect or what I was signing up for for the next 9 months. I decided to get informed.
Top 2 resources:
- Podcast: Primester
- Book: What to expect before your expecting
I knew I would want to be “healthy” for the baby, but I didn’t fully realize how important health was before I got pregnant until I did the research. I am sure I was taught this sometime in high school but that was 10+ years ago and I just didn’t remember. Your egg containing follicle are actually developing up to ~75 days before they are released. Therefore your egg that becomes the baby is really being developed months prior to ovulation. This is why I took getting my health on track so seriously and early. I knew I wanted to get into a healthy BMI, but this knowledge helped me understand why. I also had no idea that I should be taking a prenatal, my caffeine and alcohol impact before conception would matter.
I also knew that I hated the concept to pay someone else to do what I wish I could be doing… taking care of my child. Daycare was a giant barrier to me feeling ready for a child. Digging in and making a plan for our finances to help me understand my options was something I knew I needed to do.
I am not stressed all the time or anything but I do not know how to relax and decompress. Joe is so good at shutting off his mind and watching TV. When I watch TV I think about all the things I could be doing to “get ahead” or the next home project I want to do. I know that before I have a kid it will be important for me to figure out my thing to get out of my head and relax.
My To Do’s to feel ready:
- Set up OBGYN in SC
- Loose weight to be within healthy BMI
- Figure out a workout routine and get consistent
- Feed my body with better food
- Take a prenatal
- Reduce Caffeine & Alcohol
- Finances
- Figure out a how to relax
- Go to bed and wake up routine
- Read up on the physiology of what’s happening while ovulating and what getting pregnant means on a cellular and hormonal level.
Steps I took to get Healthy
I still drank alcohol occasionally but made sure to limit my intake to one drink. I tried cutting out coffee…. BAHAHHAHA that didn’t work for me. I ended up just cutting back and having 1/2 decaf. I also signed myself up for a 10k to help motivate me to be consistent in working out. Starting out I could barely run a complete mile. Later on my friend wanted me to do a 75day hard challenge with her. This consisted of a diet, 2x 45 min of activity a day, no alcohol, and increased water intake. This really gave me motivation and kicked my efforts into high gear. I had already been trying to eat healthy and found something that was really working for me. Body Love by Kelly Leveque has a basic food formula that I was able to stick with, not feel restricted and it just overall was something I could keep up with long term. She had just released a new book, Body Love Everyday, which had specific meal plans. I decided to purchase that book and follow those meal plans. That ended up being surprisingly fun and I learned a bunch of new recipes. I never actually ended up establishing a GYN and getting a check up because they had a 6 month waitlist and I ended up getting pregnant before that, and was already seeing an OB. Lastly I ordered and started taking a prenatal, which I am apparently allergic to. I ended up switching brands two times because my elbows were breaking out in hives. It was strange but now I am using Nature Made and that is working well.
Steps I took to get ready financially
As I stated before, I am not a fan of paying someone else to watch my child. I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom and the thought of paying someone else to do what I wish I could be doing felt pointless. Therefore I wanted to know all the possible options here. If there is one place I feel in control in my life it is with our money. I wanted to figure out exactly what I needed to do to be able to stay home. So we set up a plan to let me stay home for a year. In order to feel comfortable with me not having an income for a period of time we needed to reduce our monthly spending. We decided we needed to eliminate our debt. We also knew that once we had a baby we wanted to start saving for our kids college and it seemed silly to put money away for our kids education when I still had a ton of student loans yet to pay.
Steps I took for my mind
I started immediately reading about ovulation, conception, and pregnancy in general. I wanted to know what I am signing up for and what is happening to my body. I also implemented a bedtime and morning routine. The morning routine consisted of waking up an hour earlier and reading, journaling or practicing gratitude. I felt like having “me time” was something that I should try to get in now before I have a baby. Lastly, I needed to figure out a way to relax. I tried bedtime yoga, workouts, baths, meditation, paint by numbers, reading, and baking. Well, baking is my favorite and it works out well since Joe likes to eat it and has no limits to his carb, sugar, or calorie consumption.
Getting yourself ready to have a baby will look different to everyone. I bet most people don’t put as much thought into it as I did and I am sure their babies turned out fine. Everyone has different starting points and priorities that will make their preparation and focus different. I felt good that with these things and wanted to know that I put fourth effort to create the best environment for our family. I was setting myself up for a healthy, happy and confident pregnancy.
I cannot wait to hear about your story and want to know how you made the decision and if you did anything to prep before baby.
